Do the hands that prayeth, taketh?

Trouble is brewing at Oral Roberts University.

The university's executive board "is conducting a full and thorough investigation" into allegations against President Richard Roberts (son of Oral Roberts) and his wife Lindsay that include:

—A longtime maintenance employee was fired so that an underage male friend of Mrs. Roberts could have his position. (Is he her gardener?)

—Mrs. Roberts—who is a member of the board of regents and is referred to as ORU's "first lady" on the university's Web site—frequently had cell-phone bills of more than $800 per month, with hundreds of text messages sent between 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. to "underage males who had been provided phones at university expense." (Reminds me of a famous movie)

—The university jet was used to take one daughter and several friends on a senior trip to Orlando, Fla., and the Bahamas. The $29,411 trip was billed to the ministry as an "evangelistic function of the president." (Makes me think of my Governor)

—Mrs. Roberts spent more than $39,000 at one Chico's clothing store alone in less than a year, and had other accounts in Texas and California. She also repeatedly said, "As long as I wear it once on TV, we can charge it off." The document cites inconsistencies in clothing purchases and actual usage on TV. (Oooh, I would've chosen this store!)

—Mrs. Roberts was given a white Lexus SUV and a red Mercedes convertible by ministry donors. (But that's not what Jesus would drive!)

—University and ministry employees are regularly summoned to the Roberts' home to do the daughters' homework. (Mr. Hand!)

—The university and ministry maintain a stable of horses for exclusive use by the Roberts' children. (Hopefully they've had their shots!)

—The Roberts' home has been remodeled 11 times in the past 14 years. (She should've used this book!)

Richard Roberts says "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion." ( Maybe he means this? )

By the way, I hear this is grace at the Roberts' table:

"God is good
My bank account is better
Please let me get away with buying this sweater!"
AMEN

- Mary-Lynn