Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Rich Dog, Poor Dog


Leona Helmsley left $12 million dollars to her dog! That is one lucky dog. It would be funny if this Maltese named Trouble became the next Paris, Britney or Lindsay.

Suddenly, the paparazzi are snapping shots of Trouble out on a shopping spree. Next, you see snapshots on TMZ of Trouble exiting a hot L.A. nightclub. Of course, Trouble will melt down at some point, and we'll see the unfortunate news stories of an abandoned car that crashed into something. A suspicious white substance will be found, and Trouble will claim that her friend told her it was whipworm medication.

Speaking of dogs, here's an update on my beagle, Gus.
A few weeks ago, he was in bad shape. The vet took blood and liver tests and one of his liver levels was 100 times what it should be! The possibilities included: a bacterial infection, a toxic insult or cancer. I'm happy to say Gus has been medicated and nursed back to health! That bad liver level is now only 10 times high, and he is back to begging for food and wagging his tail.

The hardest thing now is getting him to take his darn liver pill in the morning. He has to take it on an empty stomache. I stuff it in a little piece of bread and put a little butter on the outside. He's real good at eating the bread and spitting out the pill. I'm not good with the tactic of shoving the pill in the back of his mouth and coaxing it down. He's not too thrilled with that idea either. The whole time, my cat Fifi is meowing impatiently because she's getting gypped out of food. Kids are so demanding.

How much would I leave my pets when I die? Nothing. I know that if they outlive me, my sister will take care of them. I give my kids $12 million dollars in love. Honestly, over the past few weeks, I've spent about $1,000 in medical care for Gus, and don't even get me started on all of the messes I've cleaned up lately!! Once he's fully recovered, I'm gonna talk to him about getting a job. Maybe he could hook up with Trouble and become PEOPLE Magazines hottest couple, that's right, I WILL pimp out my dog!

- Mary-Lynn


Just Sayin' said...

Pimping out your dog! It's genius...

It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase...

"Bitch better have my money!"


Mary-Lynn said...

Just sayin':

Yes, my dog is a 'ho' lot of fun!


Just Sayin' said...

Ba dump tshhhhh... LOL

Anonymous said...

I just watched a House Hunter on HGTV the other night and the person needed a closet for her dog's clothes. Funny you should mention Leona...I did a case study on her in undergraduate school in my clinical psychology class...this would have wrapped up the conclusion rather well ;)