My Oscars Review as it happens tonight:
- Oh God, Joan Rivers is showing quite a bit of cleavage on the red carpet. She's trying to crack jokes about Anna Nicole's death...aren't there enough LIVING people for her to pick on?
- Just switched to E! It's Seacrest on the red carpet and he is pushing a text message number asking us to text them our thoughts (how Idol). Oh boy, they have a fashion guru with the Al Madden pen effect going this year so he can hightlight fashion do's and don'ts.
- Good news: Cameron Diaz no longer has jet black hair. She's a brunette now and she's wearing white tonight. Will Smith has just arrived with a buzz cut that would make Britney jealous.
- Rachel Weisz just told Ryan Seacrest she was wearing Vera Wang, and he just said "there's lot's of wang on the red carpet tonight"...insert your own joke.
- Best dressed so far: Penelope Cruz!! She's stunning this evening. Worst dressed: Kirsten Dunst. She's cute, but not in her dress tonight.
HERE COMES THE SHOW
- Ellen is getting us all laughing...I really am rooting for her to rock tonight.
- Just saw little Abigail Breslin - she is so cute. She HAS to win!!
- The first presenters are Nicole Kidman & Daniel Craig...they look GOOD together! She is gorgeous in red, he is gorgeous!!!!
- OK, we're about 40 minutes in now and no big awards. I'm really bored.
- Hey, Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio just announced the Oscars have gone green. Does that mean all the limo's tonight are hybrid?
- We're An hour, and a half in and only one big award out so far: Alan Sorkin for Best Supporting Actor. Was kind of rooting for Eddie Murphy. I think I'm starting to fall asleep.
- Tom Cruise is in the house! He looks good and he didn't jump on the Oscar table
- Ellen just had Steven Speilberg take a picture of her with Clint Eastwood for her MySpace page. She even made him take it again so they would be more centered! Does she really have a Myspace page??
- Finally, another big one...who will win for Best Supporting Actress...and the winner is: Your American Idol loser, Jennifer Hudson.
- Al Gore's climate movie "An Inconvenient Truth" won Best documentary. We had a combo of thunderstorms, ice and snow in Illinois this weekend...what are we worried about?
- Well, it's 10:00. It's my bedtime. Looks like I'm going to miss the majority of the big awards. I want to take this moment to thank the Academy for drawing this show out to unreasonable lengths. The shadow dancing is cool, your tributing montages, your special recognition awards and the like. But I watch to see the awards I care about. My butt is numb, and I've only seen 2. Goodnight, I will count little golden bald oscars as I go off to sleep. By the way, Jack Nicholson looks better with hair. Nighty Night.